What a long strange trip it’s been
I’m sure you know that I grew up in San Francisco. What you might not know is that I went to a ton of Grateful Dead shows both in high school and college.
In 1980, there was a famous run of fifteen shows at the infamous Warfield Theater on Market Street. My friends and I would put on our long skirts, Birkenstocks, and patchouli oil and sneak out of our house and head down to the concerts. I was 16 years old!
For the love of skiing
My wonderful brilliant oncologist said to me I should never ski. He felt like skiing could possibly endanger my bones. He takes such good care of me. He helps me get into clinical trials and is at the forefront of the newest medical care. However, he is very cautious and feels that skiing is not in my best interest.
He always asks with concern, “You don’t do blue or black diamonds on the slope, do you?”
I always say, “Well, you know, I’ve skied my whole life and maybe sometimes I do the black diamonds.” And I’m always thinking, “Come on, what does cancer really do to your bones?”
Friendship and FOMO
Two weeks ago, I heard about a dinner party that I was not invited to. I immediately had FOMO (Fear of Missing out). This was ridiculous considering I barely knew these people– and there really was no reason to invite me to their dinner party!
Asking for help
I woke up on New Year’s Eve Day at Sugar Bowl weak, shaky and fatigued with a terrible cold. It wasn’t Covid like last year at this time but I felt equally horrible.
There were a few days in January when I felt fine. That is when I wrote my blog about that hilarious Hazardous label, how happy I was about the holidays with my family, and how excited that my cancer numbers were good.
Hazardous Drugs and Happy New Year!
Four days a week I pop a drug into my mouth called Truqap (Troo-kap👊). The medication is mailed to me inside a large plastic bag that keeps the drug dry and clean.
CAUTION
HAZARDOUS DRUG
OBSERVE SAFETY
PRECAUTIONS FOR
HANDLING AND
ADMINISTRATION
This is what the bag says! The black letters are surrounded by caution tape-yellow. Omgg.
Manny’s Inspiration
This summer, I was attending a symphony concert in San Francisco where I was introduced to Manny Yekutiel. Manny is the founder of a civic engagement coffee shop aptly named “Manny’s.” They host political debates, cultural events and generally bring the community together. I have watched him from afar and have deep admiration for him and his contribution to the cultural and political life of San Francisco.
When I was introduced to him that June evening, I was a little star struck. He immediately shook my hand as he told me his name was Manny.
No Side Effects
I haven’t eaten a fruit or a vegetable for over a year. I mean none. No salad, no broccoli, no mangoes, no roasted vegetables. I’m serious!
Except the time I ate a tomato and got an enormous stomachache.:) I could easily digest proteins such as steak, chicken, fish or tofu but not a tomato! I even consulted with a nutritionist to help me with this nutritional predicament. It did not work. I still had stomach pain.
Up, Down Sideways and (finally) Up
I am exhausted. For the last month I have been on a rollercoaster not qualifying for two clinical trials. The first clinical trial I did not qualify for was because I did not have enough cancer. The second clinical trial gave me the same reason.
You are in, You are not in.
Last Monday our beloved dog Cosmos died. We knew Cosmos was nearing the end. He wasn’t eating or drinking. He was 15 years old, so he was just an old dog. Steve and I went to the Pet Hospital on Fillmore and Washington. They could not have been nicer. He was our family dog –the one that Oliver, Benjamin and Claire grew up with. They were very sad to hear the news. Memories of him – sweet, cozy and loyal Cosmos – give me comfort, but I miss him. We still have our silly and playful 3 year-old Pluto, so yes, we have distraction from losing Cosmos, but still.
The meaning of time and other musings
I struggle with the amount of time that I spend involved in my medical care. As you know, every three weeks I have a chemo week: doing chemo, recovering from chemo, getting scans and blood draws and picking myself up again after the week is over. It feels like a lot. In actuality, the number of hours spent doing this is less than the rest of my time, and luckily this summer I was able to go to one of my favorite places in the world in between my chemo weeks. Yes, I’m talking about Sugar Bowl.